Books to Teach Social Skills

The Importance of Building Social Understanding

Developing social skills is a critical part of child development. However, it can be complicated to explain to students the importance and relevance of different behavior modifications in an engaging, meaningful way. As a classroom teacher, I often relied heavily on creative books to help set the stage and open a dialogue with students about behavior and behavior management. The following are a sampling of books that tackle multiple social areas that can be hard to explain to students. In my classroom, I always read social development stories in a whole class setting, and then engaged in a teacher directed discussion about the lesson behind each tale. Furthermore, having a framework of a story can be beneficial as a reference when giving students directives about the behaviors. For example, the story Decibella and her 6-inch Voice introduces a five-point voice scale to students, so often when I wanted to temper the vocal volume of student I would ask them where their voice was on the Decibella scale, and follow that prompt up with where it should be. It was a strong tool in helping manage the classroom environment, while also promoting behavioral self-monitoring in my students.

Book Recommendations

The Way I Feel by Janan Cain

Skill taught: Understanding and Expressing Emotions

Grades: Preschool through Third Grade

Summary: An excellent book, with beautiful illustrations to teach students about complex emotions such as pride, fear, pain, curiosity, anger and disappointment. The story also gives students a way to articulate the emotions they are feeling, and an understanding how one might act when feeling a particular way. The text uses bias-free language and vocabulary to give students a framework to express their feelings.

The Way I Act by Steve Metzger and Janan Cain

Skill taught: Behavior Management

Grades: Preschool through Fifth Grade

Summary: An accompaniment to The Way I Feel, this book explains and details character traits such as compassion, curiosity, capability and bravery. The story uses beautiful illustrations and verse to describe behavior in different contexts and how different types of children act differently. Furthermore, the text defines new vocabulary describing behavior in a judgment-free way, and gives students a new wealth of language to describe their own actions. 

 
My Mouth is a Volcano by Julia Cook and Carrie Hartman
Skill taught: Managing thoughts and words without interrupting

Grades: Preschool and up

Summary: An award winning book created to teach children about controlling their thoughts and expressing their ideas at an appropriate time. The book is written in friendly, witty verse that is accompanied by beautifully illustrated imagery. The story provides teachers, parents and interventionists a fun way to teach students to listen to others and wait their turn to speak. 

Decibella and her 6-inch Voice by Julia Cook and Anita De Falla

Skill taught: Listening and Communication

Grades: Kindergarten through third grade

Summary: A colorfully illustrated and thoughtfully written story about a girl who learns to use and her adjust her voice to communicate with confidence. This story teacher students about the five voice volumes, and how one must adjust their levels for different settings. The story uses humor to teach students effective communication techniques, and also provides a section of tips for parents and teachers. 

Personal Space Camp by Julia Cook and Carrie Hartman

Skill taught: Respecting personal Space

Grades: Preschool and up

Summary: An exceptional book that uses humor to teach children about respecting and maintaining personal space in a way that is witty and engaging.

Team Work Isn’t My Thing, and I Don’t Like to Share by Julia Cook
Skill taught: Sharing and Teamwork

Grades: Kindergarten and up

Summary: A great team building book that uses humor to teach students the value of working together and sharing their resources. This book is part of Ms. Cook’s Best Me I Can Be! collection, which includes many other titles that are also worth exploring. The additional titles cover topics such as peer pressure, making friends, asking for help and receiving feedback.

Recommended Reads: Princess Academy

Princess Academy by Shannon Hale

Ages: 5th – 8th grade; may appeal to girls more than boys.

Awards: Princess Academy was named a Newbery Honor Book in 2006.

Plot: Fourteen-year-old Miri is a misfit in her beloved mountain town. The people of Mount Eskel, home to

generations of quarry workers, are strong, hearty folk. But Miri is too small to work in the quarry, and although she is treated well by her widowed father, sister, and community, she longs to contribute something of value. Miri gets her chance to show just how valuable her qualities are when a messenger from the king surprises the town with an announcement: The nation’s priests have prophesied that the next queen of the Danland will be a resident of Mount Eskel and each girl must be trained to be the next princess, just in case she’s the one the prince picks. The teenage girls are whisked away to a Princess Academy where a harsh mistress rules with an iron fist. At the academy, Miri’s intellect is as laudable as her massively strong friend Frid’s muscles were back in the quarry. Many of the girls are sure the prince will choose her. But along with exciting possibilities come uncomfortable questions. Does Miri want to live among lowlanders, people whom she has been raised to despise? Her new friend Britta, an orphan from the lowland who studies alongside Miri at the academy, dispels many of Miri’s beliefs about the superiority of mountain folk. Does she really want to marry the prince, a boy she’s never even seen? Stirrings of affection for her childhood companion Peder feel like more than friendship. And could she really ever leave Mount Eskel, a place she does not fit in but loves anyway? Adventure, humor, and wisdom abound in this refreshingly original book. And we wager that you won’t see the ending coming!

Our Take: The title of this book brings to mind pink gowns and sparkling tiaras, but many girls will be delighted to discover that this tale is far from fluffy. Miri displays the kind of grit, courage, and cunning not usually associated with syrupy princess stories. The plot structure, like the storyline itself, is unexpected in this gem of a book; just as it seems things have settled into a comfortable resolution, another unexpected surprise presents itself. Hale has managed to weave a tale that is at once fast-paced and introspective. The language is lovely, and the multi-layered tale ensures that there’s something for just about every reader.

Good to Know: The sequel, Palace of Stone, was published in 2012.

Recommended Reads: If I Stay

If I Stay by Gail Forman

Ages: Best understood by upper middle school or high school students, though the text would be easily decoded by fifth or sixth graders. Will appeal to girls more than boys.

Plot: Cello prodigy Mia’s life is turned upside down on a snowy February morning when the car carrying her family crashes. Her parents are both killed instantly and Mia’s and her younger brother’s lives hang by a thread. Mia finds herself looking down at her mangled body and is able to watch the events that unfold in the hours after the accident, though she is powerless to communicate with anyone. One of the nurses at the hospital tells her grandparents that Mia’s survival is a matter of choice, leaving Mia stunned with the responsibility of choosing whether she will fight for her life or succumb to death. Her best friend, her boyfriend, and her extended family gathered at the hospital remind her of the wonderful things left in her world. But as she reflects over her happy past, can she bear to continue living given all that she has lost?

Our Take: (This section hints at some spoilers.) Young women will whip through this soulful book that begs some of life's biggest questions. The writing is evocative and almost visceral at times; descriptions of the hospital with its mysterious medical apparatus and strange smells are particularly vivid. But while Mia and many of the characters are well-rounded and credible, her relationship with her family is perhaps a touch too idealized to be believed. Forman seems to take great pains to establish that Mia's parents are ultra-cool and, similarly, Mia's relationship with her younger brother is flawlessly blissful. Did she worry that Mia's loss would seem less tragic if Mia and her family had occasional disagreements? Another minor quibble is that Mia's decision near the end of the book feels slightly rushed and anti-climactic. Mia’s best friend is a delightful character, however, and Mia’s confusion about the choices she must make in her final year of high school (stay nearby with her boyfriend or pack off to far-away Julliard?) will be familiar and real to any high school student pondering the future. And the descriptions of Mia’s feelings for the cello music she loves are sometimes achingly beautiful. As a whole, If I Stay is a very good choice for young people. The subject is a dark one indeed, but the book manages to steer clear of melodrama. Instead, it is a thought-provoking read that will get readers thinking about what really matters to them.

Adult Themes: Some very mild sexuality.

Good to Know: A movie version of If I Stay will hit theaters in August. Also, readers curious to know what happens after the book concludes will be happy to discover the sequel Where She Went, which is told from the perspective of Mia's boyfriend Adam and is set several years after the accident.

Recommended Reads: The Mysterious Benedict Society

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

Ages: Perfect for the average sixth grader

Awards: Booklist Editor’s Choice: Books for Youth Award, the Notable Children’s Books Award, and the Texas Lone Star Books Award

Plot: Brilliant orphan Reynard “Reynie” Muldoon is lonely and misunderstood at the Stonetown Orphanage, so he’s ecstatic about an advertisement he sees in the paper: exceptionally talented children can take a mysterious test with exciting (though unspecified) outcomes if they pass. Reynie triumphs over each of the exam’s delightfully tricky phases (readers will enjoy trying to solve the riddles alongside him) and finds himself teamed up with three other loner misfits who have also passed. Three of the four children are clearly gifted, though in different ways. Reynie’s strength is his ability to think logically. George “Sticky” Washington earned his nickname because any information he comes across sticks in his formidable memory. Kate Wetherall is brave, enormously athletic, and displays a MacGyver-like skill for turning just about anything into the perfect tool to get her out of a jam. The gifts of the fourth member of the team, tiny Constance Contraire, are less obvious. She is rude and argumentative, and while the other three become fast friends, they’re all a little puzzled by her inclusion on their team. But Mr. Benedict, their kindly, if narcoleptic, benefactor and organizer of the test, assures them that she is essential to their mission. The children learn that they are to be sent to nearby Nomansan Island as spies to attempt to foil the evil Mr. Curtain’s fiendish plot to (what else?) take over the world. The self-dubbed Mysterious Benedict Society has to draw on every bit of strength, cunning, and grit it can muster in this delightful adventure.

Our Take: Most kids love to read books starring child geniuses, and books about spies, and this entertaining mystery is sure to please. Though there are a few places where it seems to drag a bit, for the most part the plot is exciting, fresh, and unpredictable. Kids will love this book for the story and kooky, memorable characters. Parents and teachers will love it for the way it extols the importance of intelligence and moral values and teaches vocabulary. Some of the rich wordplay is embedded in the text, but some is explicit - and very palatably so. For example, when Kate confesses to Reynie that she doesn’t know the meaning of “ignominious,” she is offended by Reynie’s reply of “Shameful!” until he hastily explains that he was defining the word for her. The book is filled with humor, some of which is obvious and some more understated. The numerous puns were one of our favorite aspects of the novel; parents should be ready to point them out, as some may be too subtle for some kids to recognize immediately. The evil Mr. Curtain (whose first name is Ledroptha – fitting, since he hopes to “drop the curtain” on the world when he unleashes his devious plan) has set up shop on Nomansan Island (i.e. no man’s an island). One of Mr. Curtain’s henchmen is a huge, hapless youth named S.Q. Pedalian, who is just as tall as his sesquipedalian-eque name suggests, and who frequently uses long words, though often incorrectly. Constance’s last name, Contraire, highlights just how very contrary she can be. Throughout the book, we delighted in the way the four children learned from each other, absorbing both knowledge and important lessons about bravery, friendship, family, multiple intelligences, and teamwork. And readers will learn along with them as they turn each enjoyable page.

Adult themes: None

Good to Know: The Mysterious Benedict Society is the first of a four-part series. Young geniuses will also enjoy Mr. Benedict’s Book of Perplexing Puzzles, Elusive Enigmas, and Curious Conundrums. And what best-selling series would be complete without a webpage? Visit for more information about the books, their characters, and the author, as well as some brain-bending games.

Love The Giver? Read the Rest of the Quartet!

It’s hard to believe that most young people would not have been able to define “dystopia” ten years ago. Dystopian fiction is one of the hottest genres these days, with series like The Hunger Games, Divergent, Matched, Uglies, The Maze Runner (we could go on) flying off shelves – and, in many cases, onto movie screens. With this onslaught of new inductees to the world of young adult dystopian fiction, it’s easy to overlook one of the pioneers of the genre, Lois Lowry’s groundbreaking and award-winning novel The Giver. It was, and still is, a staple of the middle school language arts canon, and most adults in their mid-30’s on down have breathlessly turned its pages only to be haunted by its ambiguous ending. The Giver is one of the best-known and best-respected young adult books around. But did you know that it is the first in a four-part series?

The Giver Quartet is comprised of its famous and eponymous first installation, plus Gathering Blue, Messenger, and Son. Gathering Blue, written seven years after its predecessor, presents a new dystopian society very different from Jonas’s Community. Kira, the protagonist, lives in a village that lacks any kind of sophisticated technology. Its inhabitants have no machines and do everything by hand. It is still a culture that values the strong, however, if by default rather than by design as in the Community. Kira, born with a twisted leg, has only a slim chance for survival, but her remarkable gift for embroidery gives her a chance to save herself. There only the vaguest allusions to The Giver in Gathering Blue, and they come only at the very end, but the same themes are explored with writing that is just as gripping. And reading both is essential preparation for Messenger, which comes next. 

We’re loath to give too much about Messenger away, so we’ll share only sketchy details. Some familiar characters resurface in yet another settlement, located, as it turns out, in the same forest as Jonas’s Community and Kira’s village. Life in this third town is simple in many ways, but the technology and the culture are more sophisticated than in Kira’s village. The magical realism in The Giver, which plays a role in Gathering Blue, becomes more dominant in this book. Its hero, Matty, is one of our favorite characters in the series. As in the previous two novels, Lowry explores the dark side of human nature, though we’re happy to report that selflessness, humility, and love win the day.

Son, the fourth and final book, is the most sweeping novel in the Quartet. It begins back in the original Community and tells the story of Claire, a so-called birth mother who discovers many of the dark secrets we learned in The Giver and rebels against the Community. The reader learns before too long that she and Jonas are contemporaneous, and it is interesting to read the familiar events in The Giver from a different perspective. Like Jonas, Claire chooses to escape from the Community; her motivation, however, is not her own freedom but the desire to be reunited with her son, who was taken from her to be raised by others like all newborns in the Community. Again, the reader is reunited with familiar characters, and the conclusion of Claire’s adventures and travels provides a satisfying ending for both the book and the whole series.

One great thing about The Giver Quartet is that it’s appropriate for younger readers. Due to dark themes, violence, and more complex language, series like Divergent and The Hunger Games are best for slightly older kids. The Giver, while anything but simple, is accessible to the average fifth or sixth grader. We enthusiastically recommend the whole series to young readers, particularly to those who have been on tenterhooks since they finished The Giver.