Tech to Combat Bullying

We've written a number of times about bullying - most recently about how influential students can help curtail bullying. But bullying continues to be a troubling issue, leaving kids and adults alike feeling hurt and bewildered. This is the age of the Internet, however, so never fear: Tech has come to the rescue yet again.

Parents may want to download KnowBullying, an app from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. The app provides users with starters for tricky conversations, shares warning signs to watch for, issues reminders to check in with kids, and provides numerous helpful tips. There is a section for educators, too, which is helpful because StopBullying.gov identifies school staff awareness as a key factor in prevention of bullying.

Kids who aren’t sure what to do about teasing will be relieved to discover an app called StopIt. Many young people don’t report bullying to an adult because they are embarrassed or fear being labeled a tattletale. StopIt allows them to report bullying to their school anonymously, straight from a smartphone. Currently, more than 80 schools in the United States use StopIt, and the number is growing. (StopIt is available to corporations, too, in efforts to curb unethical or illegal behavior and financial and reputational risks.)

One of the most effective ways to stop bullying starts with kids themselves. Even if your child is not a victim, he likely witnesses, or has witnessed bullying at school, and if he’s like most kids, he’s not sure what to do about it. StopBullying.gov’s video Be More Than a Bystander can help him understand bullying so he’ll be empowered to act the next time he sees cruel behavior.

New Study Looks at Social Difficulties in Children with ADHD

A new research study from Japan finds evidence of differences in the brains of children with ADHD which may be the basis of social difficulties which these children frequently encounter.

Children with ADHD often struggle with inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity, behaviors which can impair their interaction with peers. As one student we know with ADHD described efforts to arrange a social activity with other students who had similar difficulties, "It wasn't pretty. One kid wasn't paying attention and didn't realize we were trying to get together. Another decided at the last minute to do something else. And still another guy wanted to come, but had to stay after school since he was acting out in class." But scientists have questioned whether there is more to the social difficulties that children with ADHD encounter, beyond these behaviors.

In the present study, researchers used  non-invasive near-infrared spectroscopy to measure changing blood flow in the brain to uncover the neural basis for the recognition of facial expressions. Being able to pick up on facial cues is an important skill that helps children get along with one another and understand social cues and expectations. The researchers found that while their typically developing control group had changes in blood flow to theirs brains when they saw either happy or angry facial expressions, the children with ADHD only showed changes in blood flow -- and thus response to -- happy expressions. They did not respond to angry expressions.

This was a small study (with only 13 subjects and 13 controls) and much more investigation remains to be done. Still, it gives some sense of the neural basis for the social struggles some children with ADHD experience; if you can't tell if your friend is angry with you, you won't be able to respond appropriately and social relations may suffer as a result.

photo and graphics provided under CC license

Social-Emotional Education

While academic skills are an important part of what schools need to impart to their students, there are a number of competencies that are as important -- and sometimes more so -- in helping children become happy, successful adults. These competencies are generally referred to as "social-emotional learning" and have been the subject of much attention from schools, researchers, and organizations in all areas of education. Here at The Yellin Center, we look at social and emotional issues as potential areas of strength or challenge for all of the students we see, and have long noted the importance of what we call social cognition as a part of success in school and life.

CASEL, the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning, is an organization whose mission is "to help make social and emotional learning an integral part of education from preschool through high school."

CASEL has described five areas of social-emotional competence:

"Self-awareness: The ability to accurately recognize one’s emotions and thoughts and their influence on behavior. This includes accurately assessing one’s strengths and limitations and possessing a well-grounded sense of confidence and optimism.

Self-management: The ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behaviors effectively in different situations. This includes managing stress, controlling impulses, motivating oneself, and setting and working toward achieving personal and academic goals.

Social awareness: The ability to take the perspective of and empathize with others from diverse backgrounds and cultures, to understand social and ethical norms for behavior, and to recognize family, school, and community resources and supports.

Relationship skills: The ability to establish and maintain healthy and rewarding relationships with diverse individuals and groups. This includes communicating clearly, listening actively, cooperating, resisting inappropriate social pressure, negotiating conflict constructively, and seeking and offering help when needed.

Responsible decision making: The ability to make constructive and respectful choices about personal behavior and social interactions based on consideration of ethical standards, safety concerns, social norms, the realistic evaluation of consequences of various actions, and the well-being of self and others."

CASEL works with schools, districts, and policy makers at state, federal and local levels to advance legislation and programs that promote social-emotional education in schools. Their work is highlighted in the first of a series of reports entitled From Practice to Policy, from the National Association of State Boards of Education.

No discussion, however brief, of social-emotional competence can be complete without mention of Daniel Goleman, a co-founder of CASEL and generally credited with popularizing the term "emotional intelligence" or "EQ" (as opposed to "IQ) in his best-selling 1995 book of the same name. By bringing the concept of emotional intelligence into popular culture, he helped to lay the groundwork for applying its tenets to education and business, and facilitating research into the connections between social-emotional competence and brain development. And, in his new book, Focus, Goleman discusses how the pathways that regulate social cognition and attention are interrelated. Dr. Yellin has read it and strongly recommends it.

Dealing with Bullying - Books for Children and Adults

Stories are a great way to for kids to navigate the difficult waters of growing up. Literature allows children to safely explore tough issues like potty training, jealousy, divorce, or the death of a loved one. Bullying can be one of the most painful issues many kids contend with in their daily lives, and books can present them with the heroes they need to deal with difficult and hurtful experiences caused by bullying.

Whether a child in your life is the victim or the instigator of bullying, these books can provide a medium for thinking about their feelings and actions:

The Meanest Thing to Say – by Bill Cosby
Ages 4 and up

After engaging in a mean game with some of his friends, Little Bill gets some good advice from his dad about how to keep both his friends’ respect and a clear conscience.




My Secret Bully – by Trudy Ludwig
Ages 5 and up

The protagonist of this book deals with a friend who can be downright mean sometimes. My Secret Bully is prefaced by a statement from the founder of the Ophelia Project and includes helpful tips, discussion questions, and other resources for helping girls deal with bullying.


Mr. Lincoln’s Way – by Patrician Polacco
Ages 6 and up

The kindly, insightful principal in this book sees through “Mean Gene’s” unkind behavior and tries to help him, and the other students at his school, understand that being different is special.

For adults, Margaret Atwood’s Cat’s Eye explores the painful relationship between a protagonist and her childhood “friend,” who dishes out a combination of sweetness and cruelty that is both confusing and hurtful. The book delivers surprising insights into what it’s like to contend with “mean girls” lurking in schoolyards without discounting these girls’ hidden anguish.

For a fantastic list of other titles, visit the Santa Clara County Library’s "Books About Bullying" page. Browse suggested fiction and nonfiction titles for kids in grades 3 through 8, and check out recommended titles for adults to learn more about bullying.

Resources at the JCC in Manhattan

We are big fans of the important programs offered to all New Yorkers by the JCC in Manhattan. This Upper West Side institution has an extensive "Special Needs" center that has programming for families and individuals from early childhood through adulthood.

On Thursday evening, April 7th, our own Susan Yellin, Esq. will be a featured speaker at the Center for Special Needs, discussing her book Life After High School: A Guide for Students with Disabilities and Their Families.

Other programming is part of ongoing services targeted at various interest groups. Two of the programs that we believe to be of particular importance are those providing social opportunities and support services for teens/young adults and post-college age individuals, respectively.

The Adaptations Program targets individuals in their 20's and 30's who have attended college but need a supportive environment as they work towards their life goals, because of their learning disabilities or other issues. Adaptations offers programming ranging from exercise to social training, with a number of opportunities for peer interaction. We know of no other program in the NY Metro area that offers these kinds of services for this population -- and would love to hear about other programs if they exist.

Another program is called Transitions, and is aimed at teens and young adults (ages 16-21) with high functioning autism, learning differences, and communication difficulties. Transitions' programming is designed to build friendships while emphasizing independence and social skills. We get lots of inquiries from parents and young adults about opportunities for social interactions for young people with limited social cognition. These two programs can offer help for this under-served group.